Stop looking at me, Swan!

Have you ever had those days where you feel like everyone is staring at you? Today is one of those days. It started as soon as I stepped outside of my house. I went around the long way instead of down the grassy hill to catch the bus, as the grass was covered in snow and I didn't want to slip. Well, naturally, I ran in to one of our neighbors in the parking lot, and her 2 boys. It seemed as if she were staring unnaturally at me, so I offered her a cheerful "Good Morning!" to snap her out of it. It seemed to work, although her boys still stared at me.

As I came down the steps to the road below, I realized that I had just missed one of the busses. There are 2 stops very near where I live where I can catch the bus, but it's always a toss up as to which bus will come first. A solution that I often take, when I find that I have just missed one of the busses, is to walk the long-ish block down to the next bus stop where both of the afore-mentioned busses will stop. I explain this because this is the solution I took this morning, and while walking that long-ish block to the next bus stop, I felt like a lot of the people in the cars were looking at me, as I walked briskly by them (a long line of them were stopped for a light). Ok, whatever. I shrug it off.

I keep walking. As I approach the bus stop, all the people that are already waiting there seem to be looking at me while I get closer and closer. Granted, the bus that would come, would be coming from the same direction that I was walking from. So again, I was able to shrug it off. The bus arrives. Hooray! I can sit and bury myself in a book. I get on the bus, and I feel like the ENTIRE bus full of people are looking at me! It's natural, I know, to glance up to look at the new people getting on the bus, but it seemed as if everybody's gaze lingered just a bit longer than necessary. I imagine it like a movie: you have this wide-angle shot of the bus from the front looking back at all the people, and all heads are stiffly looking forward, all eyes on the camera (me). Then the camera switches to their point of view, and it zooms in closer and closer, until the entire camera shot is that of my face and worried brow. .... Shake it off! (I did).

Next stop, Pentagon. This is where I hop off the bus and on the Metro to get to my destination in Chinatown DC. It didn't seem so bad in the crazy shuffle of people down below, as they got on and off the trains, hurrying to their place of arrival. Most people keep to themselves. So that was good. Then I get on the train. I'm standing, as all the seats are taken by the time the train gets to the Pentagon. It's always a little awkward being sandwiched in the train with strangers all around you. You try to hold the pole without touching even the tiniest bit of skin from the other person's hand. You can't look anywhere but down, really, because then you would be looking deeply in to the eyes of the stranger next to you -- it's inevitable with that close of contact. Talking to anybody is out of the question. So I look down. Except when the train breaks to cross the Potomac River. We are above-ground, and I like to look outside the window. So I glance up, and immediatly, I see 4-5 pairs of eyes on me!! This is starting to get creepy. Now I'm feeling overly self-conscious. Is there a dried boogey (shout-out to HP language!) straying out of my nostril? Do I have a newly-formed pimple that has come to a head in between the time that I last looked in the mirror and ventured outside? Did I only put mascara on one set of eyelashes? Is my hair sticking up all crazy?

After discreetly running my index finger under my nose, feeling my face for bumps, blinking my eyelashes against one of my fingers and smoothing down my hair, I couldn't feel anything wrong with me. So what was up? I was super anxious to get to the office and away from all these prying eyes. I kept my head down and speed-walked to my office. As soon as I walked in the door, I looked at myself in the little mirror. Nothing seems out of place! Odd. I wonder if maybe I'm just paranoid sometimes. But it sure doesn't start my morning off very well, placing self-doubts in my brain so early in the day.

I take comfort in the fact that at least I'll never look like this. --->

Talk about freaky! (At least she can't look at me)