Sal Si Puedes, Panama (Part 4)

Does anybody care about this trip anymore? It seems to be dragging out, and nobody comments (except Tami!), so I haven't been really motivated to finish. But I have to remind myself that this is mostly for ME, so I can remember all the funny details of the trip. So I will continue. Looking forward to a new subject, though! :)

Let's see.... The night of the lobster-eating, I really started feeling the itch of the bug bites on my body. Even though I sprayed myself multiple times a day, AND right before I went to bed, I still had a gazillion bites! The boys? Not so much. Maybe a few. Why, I ask! WHY?!?

After eating and hanging out for a while talking, it was time for bed. Dave and I wrapped the mosquito netting around the bed and he dropped off to sleep rather quickly while I read my book. I was slapping my skin (instead of scratching) to try to alleviate the itching, but it was really driving me crazy. And I thought I kept seeing little bugs flying around inside the netting. Great. We trapped them IN! I kept spazzing out and quickly sitting up to try to catch the bugs. Then I looked to the top of the netting. There was this HUGE nasty flying thing! Seriously. It must have weighed half a pound. When it flew around the room, I could hear it's plastic-like wings fluttering like a playing card stuck in a fan. Then the mutant bug would run in to the wall or window; PLEH! (that's the sound it made when it crashed. Say it out loud with a scrunched-up face). Then flutter-flutter, PLEH! It was seriously grossing me out. So when I saw it just sitting there on the outside of the net, it freaked me out. I just COULDN'T handle it. I already made one of the boys kill one in the kitchen earlier that night - so girthy! I couldn't go to sleep knowing that that .. THING was right there! So I woke up Dave. (now my turn to be the annoying wake-up person!) I pointed to it and asked him to kill it. He tried batting at it from the inside of the net, but that thing was holding on with vice grips! So he got out of the netting and swatted it with his flip flop. "KILL IT!", I yelled hysterically. (F-U!) He did.

This is what it was!! I just looked for a pic online and almost threw up scanning through all the insect images. Imagine THAT right outside your bed! AAAAHHHH!!!

Then Dave turned off the light and climbed back on to the bed. I was still on edge. What if Dave didn't close the netting properly and some part of the bed is exposed to the bugs? I frantically ran my hands around the edge of the bed and the walls of the netting to make sure I was protected. My heart was beating out of control. I was hot & sweaty. My body itched like crazy. I was slapping my skin and then desperately scratching. I kept making pathetic moaning noises and had labored breathing. I would switch positions and lay there for maybe 60 seconds before the pattern would start over again. Dave asked what he could do. "Can I get you some ice for your legs or something? A cold washcloth?" My response: "I need a hug. But I'm too hot, so don't touch me. Just pity me. Tell me you feel sorry for me." He told me he was sorry I was so miserable. That sufficed. I just had to get through the night...

All was quiet for a few minutes, when Dave quickly sat up and belched, "RIBBIT!" You see, the entire trip, the boys would say 'ribbit' every time they burped. But they weren't just burps. These were loud, throaty belches. And me being the immature teenager with them, would laugh hysterically. EVERY time. I tried to also ribbit-belch, but I just can't work my vocal chords or form words at the same time as my burps. I'm lame like that. Anyway, so I collapse into laughter on the bed, and Dave is chuckling as well. It was a very powerful Ribbit. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe. My tummy hurt. I had tears streaming down my face. I laughed for probably 2 minutes straight. But I was quickly realizing that my laughter was turning in to something else.... I was so worked up already, that my laughter quite simply transformed into anguish. I turned away from Dave and smothered myself with my pillow as I sobbed and sobbed. I was just plain miserable. My tears continued to stream, my breathing continued to be labored, and my tummy still hurt, but the cause of these things was completely different from just 30 seconds earlier. And now I had a runny/stuffy/sniffly nose. I was still hot & sweaty. And my body was still SO itchy! I felt utterly and totally sorry for myself. (F-U!)

Power went out again. *BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ* Surge of power.... *BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ*

Morning graciously came. I hadn't slept. And apparently neither did Dave after I woke him up to kill the giant mutant bug. But today we were to head in to Bocas to try to change our flight. If we were unsuccessful getting to Panama a day early, we had already decided to stay in Bocas for the night in an air conditioned hotel. We started cleaning the place up. Dave and I decided to put in a load of laundry, then go out for one last float in the ocean. Afterward, we showered and then checked on the laundry, which had stopped. The dial had gone completely around to finish the cycle, but the washer was still completely full of water! What? Ok. So we turned the dial to the rinse mode, and pulled it to start. The water never drained. The clothes were still in soapy water. The dial just went around and around and the water never did anything. (F-U!) So Dave and I gathered up our soaking wet soapy clothes and took them to the bathroom to rinse and wring. Then we set about acting like locals and hung the clothes on the line outside. We didn't want to use the dryer, as our clothes were sopping wet and the generator was going again; charging the batteries so we could have power. Of course I dropped one of my items of wet clothing in the sand while hanging up the rest. I was truly annoyed by this point...

The morning after the drama

Checking the clothes to see if they're dry enough yet

Me annoyed that Dave is taking my picture

Dry enough! Now a quick tumble in the dryer should do the trick

Super happy to be taking the clothes off the line! ;p

My bugbites in all their glory (at least on this one leg)

Finally, we were all packed and ready to go. We got in Gregario's boat for the last time - Hooray!! - and headed in to Bocas. Is anybody aware of how hot and humid Panama is? Have I stressed that enough? I was BEGGING Greggo to go faster so we could have a breeze. The sun was BLARING on us and I was so hot and sweaty. Miraculously, a little bit in to the boat ride, the clouds came and we got a little rain. Relief!

We paid G, said our goodbyes, and were off to the airport to change our ticket. Luckily everything was fine and we didn't have to pay anything to switch it. Hooray! We'd be leaving this island to get back to Panama City in just a couple of hours. We checked in our bags, then headed back to grab some grub and get some cold drinks. This time we chose a restaurant on the water and we had a magnificent view! The waitress laughed when Scott ordered 3 Cokes right away -- just for himself.

View right in front of our table

View to the left

Scott's silly ecstatic Coca-Cola face

Dave seemingly not that impressed by our surroundings

Finishing up the last of my milkshake before I dive in to my frozen lemonade

Scott's milkshake mustache - complete with dribble

Just had to use both the straws. Notice how much it had melted.

A testament of the humidity. No salt-shaker worked, as it was all caked together

After we were somewhat cooled down with our many cold drinks, we headed back over to the airport to wait for our flight. And boy were we in for a treat!! What do you know -- there's that Camel Toe lady that we saw on our flight TO Bocas!! YES! What are the chances that we'd be on the same flight back to Panama City?! I mean, wow. The stars were aligned. Our good luck was taken to a new level, as this time she was sporting the tight denim camel toe. Yowza! (F-U!)

We got on the plane and quickly realized that there was no A/C. It was hot and humid and uncomfortable.

Dave was even more uncomfortable when he saw this flight attendant call button:

We had a good laugh zooming in on this one! The couple sitting ahead of us turned around to see what was so funny.

We said goodbye to the island of Bocas and were eager to get to Panama City and some glorious A/C. Outside the airport, we caught a cab and asked the driver to take us to a decent hotel. We ended up going down the Amador Causeway and checking in to a hotel in the middle of this strip-mall type atmosphere. Scott walked in to the lobby and just laid down a credit card. He was not about to drive all over Panama City trying to find the best deal/accommodations. If this place had a room with A/C, that was IT! We paid our cabby (Augustino?) who then asked us if we needed to go anywhere the next day. We had a short discussion and decided that yes, indeed, we would like to be able to get around Panama City the next day to see some sights. Done. Augustino would pick us up the next afternoon around 1.

Scott was in heaven in the air conditioned room! I was admittedly cold with goosebumps, but I knew I would snuggle under the comforter and be perfect. I was very happy to know that I would really be getting a good night's sleep without any bug scares, humidity, oppressive heat, and actually a soft bed to sleep in, too! I was even MORE excited when we found out the hotel had a pool! YES! Dave and I jumped on that action and headed down. We wondered if it was still open - as we were the only ones there and everywhere was dark. But these pools don't have operating hours - PAH! We made our way down the outside staircase and into the pool. There was some piano bar next door or something because we were serenaded by the most awesome classical piano-playing. Sitting in the dark, in the pool with live piano music and a friend who appreciated the same was just awesome. I closed my eyes and really took it all in. This is what life was about. Everything at that exact moment was perfect.

We all had a successful uninterrupted night's sleep and woke up in time to take advantage of the free breakfast. It was served outside, near the pool. We ordered eggs cooked to our liking and the boys also got fresh cooked bacon. There was also bread with jams, a toaster to use if you wished, water, fruit juice, coffee, cheeses, etc. It was a nice leisurely breakfast. The boys wanted a second helping of eggs and meat, and when they asked, the food lady just looked at them like "What? ANOTHER order? You fat Americans." 2 little eggs and a small strip of bacon must satisfy the stomachs of the small Panamanians. Instead, the boys filled up on more toast. (F-U!)

We still had a couple of hours to kill before we had to check out, so Dave and I decided to take a dip in the pool again while Scott shaved off his beard. After a while, we all got cleaned up, checked out of the hotel and strolled around the outside mall. Ice cream was consumed and we just lounged around and chit-chatted while we waited for Augustino to show up. Then we were off! We became tourists of Panama City with our personal chauffeur.


<------View of our hotel balcony.

View FROM the hotel balcony looking inside the room. ----->





<------Dave and Scott eating breakfast.

Close-up of the pool; we could have eaten in there with the tables! -------->

<------To the left of the pool.

The stairs we came down from inside the hotel -------------->

Scott's before and after pics:

Augustino made his way through the streets of Panama with success. First stop: The Panama Canal!

Scott & I pose to the left

Dave seriously questioned Scott's picture-taking abilities while I posed like a little bunny (??)

Dave and I just aren't that impressed by the whole thing

And a picture to the right, just as a boat starts to enter the Miraflores locks

Another boat in the other channel is about to go through!

Success

Pretty sure we saw the Panama City temple on a distant hill in this shot, but it's hard to make out in the picture

We didn't fully appreciate what we were looking at until we went back down in to the theater and watched the little history video of the canal. Then we thought it was pretty dang cool! Each ship goes through a series of locks. The water rises and falls within each lock to allow the boat to pass through:

1-3. Boat enters 'empty' lock

4. Bottom gates are closed, bottom paddles closed, top paddles opened, lock starts to fill

5. Lock is filling with water, lifting boat to the higher level

So after we gained a full appreciation of the Panama Canal, we met up with Augustino to go to our next stop. During the ride, the boys spoke to him in Spanish while I tried to entertain myself, since I had no idea what they were saying. The result:

Apparently the Christo Negro (Black Christ) is popular in Panama

Just taking a picture of myself in the rearview. I made myself laugh. HARD.

It started to rain pretty good as we made our way through Colonial Panama

A building in Casco Viejo (the old quarter of Panama City [Colonial Panama], founded in 1673)

The roads leading to the French Park

Augustino dropped us off at the Plaza of France. The monument in the center was erected in honor of the workers and French engineers that participated in the construction of the canal. There is a walkway around the monument where you can see the Amador Causeway, Bridge of Americas, and the Panama City skyline. We also saw this:

Lots of bird duke!

The tide was definitely OUT

The monument... with a rooster on top?

Scott and I pose cleverly with the monument. Props to Dave's picture-taking skills

Panama City Skyline

The one picture of all 3 of us during the entire trip

The picture to the left is a little walkway called "Lover's Stroll". This is where I purchased my only souvenirs; 2 necklaces.

To the right: An old Spanish structure called Las Bovedas now used as an art gallery and French restaurant.

Left: Typical narrow cobblestone roadway in Colonial Panama.

Right: Presidential House (Presidency of the Republic of Panama). It reads, "PRO POPULO ET CIVITATE" Translation: For the population and civilization

Next stop was Old Panama. This was the first Spanish city founded on the Pacific Coast of the Americas back in 1519. Because of the massive quantities of gold that flowed through from Chili, Peru and California, the city attracted Pirates. Consequently, the city was set on fire, pillaged, and destroyed which prompted the move of the capital to what is now Colonial Panama. We saw a lot of ruins.

On our way out of Colonial Panama. Notice the back of the bus with the painted "Rock" (Dwayne Johnson)

Just a street fruit vendor I thought was cool

Goodbye Colonial Panama and downtown Panama City!!

Ruins of the Spaniard's first settlement

The old cathedral with massive bell tower

Back of the Bishop's House

<-----------Me looking crazy-happy to be at the ruins.

Didn't realize Dave was taking this picture of JUST me and not the ruins... ---------------->

After some time checking out the ruins, we made our way back to Augustino and the cab. We waited a bit for Augustino to finish his cigarette, when Scott was invited to play catch with the locals. This is probably the happiest I saw Scott on the trip (well, besides the first moments inside our air-conditioned hotel room):

Nice catch!

From there, Augustino drove us to the airport. After all day riding around in the sometimes-scary cab of Augustino, we were happy to get out and make our way through the airport. We of course thanked him energetically and paid him for his time. He really was a nice guy! I imagine he was cool to talk to because the guys talked and laughed with him all day (again, I entertained myself, as I had no clue as to what was being said). After we made our way through security, we thought we would get something to eat, but there really was only ONE place to sit down and eat. It was sub-par food and none of us really said anything throughout the meal. We were exhausted and hungry and maybe just a tiny bit irritable since we roamed all over the airport trying to find a place to eat. So we just glued our eyes to the soccer game on tv in the corner.

After our bellies were full, we made our way to the gate and observed that all the store employees as well as many people roaming the halls were wearing surgical masks. Apparently they were all very concerned about the swine flu. We found it a bit humorous and Dave was sure to cough loudly without covering his mouth whenever we walked by a group of masked people. I was laughing. (F-U!)

Then when it was about time to board, we had to have our bags checked AGAIN! Because the x-ray we went through earlier wasn't good enough?!?? We had to wait in line for some lady to fish through our bags before we could get on the plane. There were passengers that had some items confiscated. I guess it's not like the US airports where once you're through security, you can purchase any liquids you want. Nope. You can't bring anything on the plane over 3oz, even if you DID just buy it in the airport store. Good thing we passed up that 2 gallon bottle of rum we saw in the duty free. ;) (F-U!)

The flight back was relatively smooth. The Velociraptor Baby that was in the gate waiting area was far enough back on the plane that it wasn't TOO annoying with its constant shrieks. Dave and I were lucky enough to sit next to this world traveler guy who told us all about his adventures and even showed us pics that were loaded on his iPod of when he went to Africa. Very nice guy. After a while, Dave dozed and I played Sudoku on my Zune for the duration of the flight. All was well except for the intermittent kicks from the kids behind us. It would almost be annoying enough to turn around and say something, when they would stop. But then 10 minutes later, we'd feel another kick.....

Getting off the plane was a bit of a joke. Nobody would let me step in to the aisle to get my bag out of the overhead bin. They were all just crowding and shoving past my seat. Dave was 'standing' hunched behind me and said quite loudly, "Oh, don't mind us, we don't want to stand or get our bags. Yes, move along. Don't take notice of us. We're not JUST as anxious as you to get off the plane." (F-U!)

Customs was another joke. There were maybe 2 stations that were open to check in the entire flight. One line for Citizens, one line for non-citizens. While waiting in line, I would pick out those that probably shouldn't be in the citizen line, and must not have read the signs. I was right several times when I saw people floating over to the other line. Then at one Citizen station, there was this lady who obviously didn't speak English, as the customs person was telling her to please take off her hat.. Finally had to reach over and take it off her head for her. Then she had no idea what to do when customs-person asked her to put her thumb down on the fingerprint machine. Had to physically grab her hand and push her thumb down. Really? This lady is a citizen? I thought you had to pass some sort of tests. The least of which is to recite the National Anthem. In English. Skeptical of that one...

We finally got through and were all thoroughly grumpy, but SO happy to be back on US soil!! Didn't get home until 3AM and had the privilege of getting up and going to work the next day. Still SO very itchy (lasted for another week and a half! Was this close to seeing a doctor) and doggone tired, but I was happy to hear English and be in an air-conditioned building. The Panama trip was definitely not what any of us expected, but it turns out it was still SUCH a fun time!! All those crazy Funny Unexpected moments made for great stories and laughs amongst family and friends. I will never forget it! Good times.


More F-U! moments:

• A stray dog wandered around to the front of our house one morning. It looked REALLY mangy and had bloody scratch marks on his face. Scott yelled, "Sientete!" And the dog sat! We all started busting up. The dog really just sat there. For a long time. I started saying, "Go home!" but this dog obviously was NOT bi-lingual. When said in Spanish, I think it was just confused. Clearly this dog doesn't have a home!
  
  
• When walking through Bocas to see if we could change our flight that last day (carrying our backpacks, dying from the heat and humidity, sweating profusely, etc) there was this local that wasn't watching where he was going. He was talking to somebody while backing in to the road and our walking path. I moved out of the way and so did Scott, but Dave didn't see him and the local ran right in to him. Local: "Watch where you're going!" Dave: "No! You watch where you're going!" Local: "Eff You!" Dave turning around and rising to his full height - like a foot taller than the local - holding his arms out and puffing out his chest: "Eff you!" The local backed off. HAHAHAA!! Dave almost got in to a fist fight with a scrubby Panamanian!